Getting back in a routine

This is the first full week of school.  While Addi is trying to get back into a routine of "mom, it's still daylight outside" when she goes to bed and "mom, it's still dark outside" when she wakes up, I too am trying to get back into a routine.  Last school year I was decent about keeping a schedule of going to the gym. My neighbor friend and I would somehow be at the gym at 4:30AM! on average of 3 days a week.  Yes, 4:30. Once summer started that was a little more difficult.  And going after Josh got home from work was difficult.  I didn't want to meet him at the door at 5:30, throw the kids in his face and say "see ya!"  Wait, yes, yes I did.  But I didn't think that would be much appreciated on his end so I didn't.  And who wants to go right after supper?  Nope, not me.  And then after the kids went to bed I was either so tired myself or just wanted to spend some time with my husband.  Excuses you say?  You're right, they were.  But I enjoyed my family time and my body suffered for it.  Because was I not only decent about going to the gym I also stayed on a food plan.  Was it hard?  At first.  But I got used to it and I started to see some changes.  The best changes were when people were telling me I looked like I was losing weight.  Woohoo!! It was actually paying off.  And of course Josh told me I looked great.  I secretly think that there is some subliminal message in our vows that we took that Josh knows it's in his best interest to tell me I'm beautiful and look great.  Blah Blah.  I really do appreciate it, but sometimes just need the cold, hard truth!

So today I am fed up with feeling like a blah, no energy, no fun momma and wife.  I jumped back on the food plan this morning and my wonderful sister just got here to stay with my kiddos while I go to the gym.  Planet Fitness please don't fall down when I walk in.  I know it's been a while.  

I have a fellow blogger that I follow religiously.  Go check her out at  http://www.supermessysupermommy.blogspot.com/.  She has a whole variety of topics.  And she too has gone through the mommy blues.  I probably won't be as open as she has been able to be because I just don't know if I can post my scale pictures showing my weight and before and after pics of myself.  Ahhhh to be that comfortable, I wish.  But because I'm putting out here that I'm working on getting back in shape and losing the weight I hope it will help me and give me that extra push.  

So I'm gonna chug my tumbler full of water and hit the gym.  Here is to hoping that I will survive and go back tomorrow!

Not any longer!  

I vow not to let this happen.  I will be full, I will
eat and I will fit!

No more "Hurry Up"

Yesterday Addilyn started first grade.  And I didn't cry.  Today is the second day of school and I didn't cry.  Until now.  I kept seeing this post passed around Facebook the last few days.  And in between cleaning the bathrooms and taking out the trash I stopped to read it.  I don't know what finally made me read it, but I'm glad I did.  It's all about racing through life and everyday living and not taking "it" in.  Whatever "it" may be at that exact moment.  Read it here.  Go on, read it.  This made me cry.  Because this is so ME.  With both of my kids but, especially Addilyn. I seem to procrastinate on a lot of things but time is definitely one of them. Whether it is getting out the door to the doctors office, walking into the grocery store or making cookies, I always wait till the last minute, wait until I don't have a second to spare and need every minute it is going to take me to get done what I need to get done and not be even later and be able to enjoy a few distractions.
I can almost break this article down paragraph by paragraph and work it into my daily life.  I'm always rushing out the door and hollering at Addi to "hurry up" "what's taking you so long?" or "we're gonna be late" and she is always telling me she can't find the right necklace to go with her outfit or can't find her purse.  And to that I think, "you are 6 years old, why in the world do you need a necklace or a purse?"  Because she is 6, that's why.  Because she is developing her sense of style and individuality.  Because she loves to be a fashionista and look "pretty".  And I'm rushing her.  Or on the days she does make it to the van before I do, only for me to get in and she's in the back and not buckled up.  Wildly I scream, "WHY are you not buckled up?  WHY can you get out here before I do and still not be ready?" To which she cries (literally because while I wasn't paying attention I've hurt her feelings) "I have to buckle up Hannah Dale" (her Bitty Baby).  And then I think to myself "why does she need to buckle up a silly baby doll?"  Because she is 6 and because she is this baby doll's momma and if I buckle up my kids, why shouldn't she buckle up hers?  There's been many times we've been running errands and she'll ask if we can stop at Happy Hour at Sonic for a slushy.  And I immediately say no because, you guessed it, we don't have time.  What would it hurt to stop for a few extra minutes and enjoy a slushy or special treat with my special kiddos?  It wouldn't.  Plain and simple.  
By the end of this article I couldn't see behind the tears.  I'm that mom walking into WalMart or Target 5 steps in front of one kid while seemingly dragging the arms off of my other kid telling them to "hurry up".  (this probably paints a horrible picture in your head of me literally dragging my kids through a parking lot but I'm sure you get my picture).  I need to slow down.  Plain and simple.  I need to walk the pace of my 6 and 2 year old and who knows what I'll see.  I'll see the pretty butterflies that are magically floating around that my daughter loves to watch.  Maybe I'll see the tractors passing by that my son loves to watch and fantasise about riding on.  Because no matter what I see, my kids will see their momma stopping to take her time to walk hand in hand slowly with them and others might see a mom enjoying her time with her precious gifts.
And the next time I bake cookies, I will let Addi break the eggs.  Who cares if the shells crack in the dough?  I'll throw it out.  And she can try again.  Because if I don't let her try, how will I know she can do it and more importantly how will she know she can do it?  And if Reid is not falling asleep fast enough at night, I'm not going to tell him to "hurry and go to sleep, you've got 5 minutes or I'm leaving this room".  No, I'll just rock and hold him a little longer and cherish that extra time. And why do I wait till my kids fall asleep to stare at them and be amazed at what cute, smart, funny and wonderful kids God gave me?  Why don't I do that during the day when they are awake and can hear me and know that is what I think?  They deserve to know that I think they are wonderful and that I love them and that I'm so happy I get to be their mommy.
Although the article made me cry, made me feel awful (I know that's not what the author intended) it did make me take a step back and realize that I need to take my time, prioritize a little differently and I'm gonna try really hard to give myself more time, more time to enjoy my kids during the most mundane of things.  So, I'm signing off here to make it to school early, to be one of the first parent's in line to pick up their kid instead of the end of the line and I'm gonna walk at her pace through the parking lot as she talks about her day.  And I will tell both of my kids regularly, while they are awake, how they make me proud and how much they mean to me.

Audrey Turns 3!!

Three years ago today I became an aunt for the second time.  Three years ago today my heart grew a little bigger.  Three years ago today this little chunky, big haired, bright eyed baby was born and I became Aunt "Emmy", a name I used to cringe at but now smile every time I hear it.  Today Audrey turns 3!  I came across this little poem last week that I think fits Audrey to a "T" and it goes like this,

"One plus two, how old am I?

I can count, I can argue, I can ask why.

I'll rock this world, you will see.

You got that right, I'm turning THREE!"

This little girl who can talk and carry on a conversation with any adult, loves bows, Minnie Mouse, zebra print, doing 'nastics, won't go anywhere without her night night or Heidi her baby, and can sing any country song once she's heard it, has stolen my heart a little more every time she says my name or cheeses that big grin of hers.  She is smart, witty, absolutely adorable, sensitive and very caring.  She has grown so much so fast in not just the last 3 years but in just the past couple of months.  Her mommy and daddy better watch out, because before they know it she will be going to school and capturing hearts everywhere.  So watch out world, Audrey is 3 and she's ready to own it!

Audrey,  

I love you very much sweet girl and can't wait to see what this big, beautiful world has in store for you.  You are determined, smart and I know you will grow so much in this next year. I love your spunkiness, your sassy attitude, your new found love for gymnastics, your wonderful bear hugs, the way you sing and dance and your sense of style that you are starting to make your own. I hope this year is your best year yet!

 Happy 3rd Birthday Princess!

Love you!

Aunt Emmy

First Grade!

Okay, I know it's been a while since I last blogged but summer has been jam packed with gymnastics, a little pool time, gymnastics, lots of family time, cookouts and gymnastics.  Did I mention we've been busy with gymnastics?!  Addi loves it and wouldn't have it any other way, so that is what we have been doing.  These are the excuses, er, I mean the reasons I have failed at blogging lately.  But I'm back...for now.

Anyway, summer vacation is officially over.  School starts back tomorrow and I'm happy to report that my emotions and mind set are much better than last year.  Need a refresher?  Read Kindergarten here.  I have not drank an entire bottle of wine, I have not cried (yet!) and I'm not on the verge of a panic attack.  But because time is moving at a rapid speed and my little girl is quickly growing up, I am trying to hold on to all the milestones.  So here is my letter to my first grader....

My Sweet Addilyn,

     I don't know where to begin.  Seriously.  You are laying in your bed now, although I'm sure your nerves and excitement haven't let you drift off to sleep yet. I'm sure you are lying flat on your back, staring at the ceiling clutching your beloved giraffes and snuggled under your blanket.  As it hits me that you are entering first grade I hope you don't become too big or too cool to sleep with your comfort and security belongings.  When this day happens at our house I will have a meltdown.  You will officially be big and not a little girl anymore.  And yet you are already a big girl.  A big, independent girl.  A girl that I will drop off at first grade tomorrow.  A big girl who has already told me you aren't taking pictures tomorrow, (by the way, oh yes you are!!)  A big girl who knocks heads with me over the littlest thing and demands that your ways are right, but yet snuggles with her daddy every night and thinks he's the greatest and smartest man in the world.  Let me let you in on a little secret.  He is.  Every girl deserves a daddy that they can look up to, love unconditionally and know that with every fiber of their being  that they will always hold your best interest in mind and heart.  I grew up with this kind of daddy and I am so happy and thankful that you are too.  

When I leave you at the door of your classroom tomorrow, I again, just like last year am leaving a piece of my heart there.  I hope that your teachers know or get to know what a special girl you are.  One who is smart, funny, determined, well mannered and kind.  Because I know that is what you are. And it means that I as a mommy have been doing something right. I was amazed at what you learned in Kindergarten last year and can only imagine what you will come home and tell me about daily.  I can't wait to watch your mind and interests grow.  I hope you will continue to make life long friends. I hope you will make your teachers proud. I hope you will continue to love school.  

Reid is going to miss you terribly.  He loves spending his days with you and playing and watching television.  He tries his hardest to keep up with you riding bikes and likes to eat whatever you are eating for lunch.  These first couple of weeks are going to be hard for him.  And they are going to be hard for me too.  You are my side-kick, my light and my pride.  

Your brand new, flashy, made you giddy from the moment you saw it backpack is packed and ready.  You've told me what you want packed in your matching lunchbox and your outfit is picked out and neatly laying at the end of your bed.  Tomorrow begins a new milestone and I can't wait to see what first grade has in store for the both of us!

So show up to first grade tomorrow with a smile on your face, determination in your mind and you'll do great!  They're gonna love ya baby girl!  Have fun!

I love you more and am proud of you!

Mommy

8-6-13