Memories

Have you ever missed someone who is actually still on this Earth with you? Someone you can visit and talk to? But yet, that person doesn't remember you, can't even say your name and can't even talk to you? Simply put, I hate Alzheimers. This horrible, invisible disease has taken over my Grandma. Wait, it's not really invisible. You can see it in the hollow of her cheeks, the sunken look of her eyes while she either looks you over trying to remember who you are or as she looks right past you like she doesn't even realize you are standing there. You can hear it as she tries to mumble what it is that she is thinking or what she wants. And it makes me wonder, "where is my grandma" and "I wish we could have her back even if it's just for a minute".
She's been on my mind a whole lot more lately. I'll be the first to admit it, as hard as it is, but I'm not a frequent visitor. I know she is still my grandma and regardless, when I think back to "who" she is, I'll have my memories. But seeing her as she is today just slowly makes those memories go away. So this is my purpose for today. I want to share those memories with you. And if you are reading this and have your own memories, smile and be thankful for them.
My morning started off fixing Addilyn breakfast. When we went to the grocery earlier in the week I picked up grapefruit. So while fixing it this morning I remembered grandma (she was 'mamaw' back then, but that's a whole other story in itself!) showing me how to slice the fruit in half, take a knife to break up the edges and then sprinkle sugar to give just a bit of sweetness to the sourness. And then just like I told Addi, "the best part is getting to drink all the juice when you're done". It was something as simple as a grapefruit that brought a smile and a sweet memory to mind.
I know Aimee, Rachel and Rebecca would agree with me on this one. Sleepovers at grandma's were the best. Before you could even ask if you could spend the night, grandma would whisper in your ear, "wanna stay with me tonight?" Sometimes you'd sleep in the front bedroom and other times we'd snuggle up in her bed. Say our prayers (the woman was a walking bible) and maybe talk for just a few minutes and then fall asleep. And the next thing I knew, it would be morning and I was in bed by myself cause she was already up drinking her coffee and maybe doing her nails. Which leads to my next memory.
In the hall closet of her house was a shoe box that held bottles and bottles of fingernail polish, remover, clippers, nail files and more. She'd spread it all out on the dining room table and go to work giving you a personal manicure. It was just something simple like that that sticks in my head.
And coffee. The woman would warm up the same cup of coffee over and over and over again. When I was younger I thought it was normal, now I wonder how she drank it. Yuck! She'd put it in the microwave, walk away and 2 hours later go back to get it and have to reheat it. Repeat.
Anne Wismean was a woman who was 100% put together. Never a hair out of place, an earring that didn't go with the necklace and her shoes always matched her attire. It's probably from owning a fashion store "back in the day", but regardless, the woman was ALWAYS in style and looked so put together. I remember her picking me up from track practice back in middle school and a friend asking if she was my grandma. I said yes, and the girl commented on how pretty she was and did not look like a grandma. Grandma just smiled when I relayed this comment.
You could ride down the road with her (which sometimes got a little scary! haha) and she'd reach over, pat your leg once and then several more times, each time a little quicker and she'd say "you know what that is?' and before you could answer her because you always knew the answer to it. She'd say, "that's a love pat". My sisters and I can be riding together and everyonce in a while that memory will surface and we'll do that to one another.
Grandma was a great baker. Her homemade yeast rolls were a staple at Thanksgiving and her cream cheese danishes you could expect on Christmas morning. I remember the last time I spent the night with her. Rachel and I both stayed with her. And yes, we were in high school. Grandma taught us (however I don't remember now) how to make icing. To put it in a ziploc bag and clip the end so you could easily squeeze the icing out in a fine line. I didn't care about how to do that, I just wanted to lick the bowl like a 3 year old!
In the basement was a chest that held dress up clothes. We'd get the old clothes out and believe me they were O.L.D. A peach polyester suit with bell bottoms and a braided belt that went around the huge shirt (it would probably be in style today!), chunky heeled wedding shoes, peep toed navy heels and one very ugly navy and plaid dress. I'm sure there were more, these are just the ones I remember. We'd dress up in these clothes, get out a missalette from church, line up our chairs and play church. Rebecca was always in charge, therefore the 'priest'. haha We'd get lays potato chips and cranberry juice and play 'body of christ'. We'd sing hymns and go to church! Oh, the good times!
These are the memories that I will forever hold in my heart when I think of my grandma. I hope my children are able to have their grandparents for a very long time and never take for granted the time they will get with them. Yes, I know I still have my grandma, but she's not the grandma I want to remember. And yes, I know I need to go see her even if she has no clue who I am. But for right now, thank you for letting me reminesce and travel back down the road of my childhood to that brick house in Rineyville that holds so many memories.